Attention to those of you too impatient to wait until tomorrow (or whenever Sony actually solves this problem) to fix their Playstation 3’s by-now-notorious 8001050F error: our very own Joe the Tech has come up with a solution. Those techno-savvy enough to void their warranty can reset the PS3’s CMOS by unplugging the CMOS battery for 5-10 minutes.  We’ve confirmed that this works at least on our PS3 down here at The Big’s corporate offices, and it really is that simple.

Now to the not-so-simple part.  This fix involves dismantling your PS3 so that you can get to the underside of your motherboard.  However, Sony (in their infinite wisdom) has actually made the PS3 relatively easy to dismantle (relative to the PS2, if you’re wondering). Remember to unplug your PS3 from the power source before continuing. Dismantling instructions can be found here.

You only need to go as far as being able to remove the motherboard assembly to get to the battery (on our model, anyways).  Again, fair warning, THIS WILL VOID YOUR WARRANTY (if you still have one on your old PS3).  This problem does not effect the newer PS3 Slim models.

Now, after you’ve removed the motherboard assemble and see the CMOS battery (it’s a standard 3.3v CR2032 battery inside of a green rubber casing with a red and a black wire coming out of it and leading to a plug), just go ahead and unplug the battery from the motherboard.  You’ll need to wait a good 5-10 minutes (an hour if you want to be REALLY sure) for the capacitors to drain and for the CMOS to reset.  After that, just plug the battery back in and reassemble the PS3.

After it’s reassembled, you can go ahead and hook it back up to your TV/Monitor.  When you first start it up, you’ll be greeted with a Date/Time Set menu.  Set it to the current date/time (or any time after 11:59pm 2/28/10), hit X, and you’re back up and running as though nothing happened.

DISCLAIMER:

The Big Critique and/or its parent company/shareholders can not be held responsible for any damage that may come to you or your PS3 as a result of following the instructions here.  You perform this fix at your own risk.

PICTURES

Religion has been the background for many great films, plays and books; why not a video game? The reason why this often makes a great backdrop is that many religious stories are filled with fantastical elements, like toads falling from the sky or a monkey king dying to save his people from mango-hungry humans.

I personally enjoy the dark biblical book of Revelations which is often used for horror films, due to its nightmarish like stories and descriptions. Darksiders is not a religious game in any way shape or form, but modifies some stories to use as a rich and dark backdrop.

Set up & Presentation

Darksiders is very loosely based upon the story of the Apocalypse from the Book of Revelations. For those of you who missed that week of Sunday school, the Apocalypse is the prophesied beginning of the war between heaven and hell. In the case of Darksiders, the Apocalypse came premature, and War - one of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse - is blamed for it.

As War, you must prove to the Council that it’s not your fault; or be punished for breaking your code. The Council strips you of most of your powers and assigns a warden, The Watcher, to guide you and make sure you follow the Council’s will.

The over-world in Darksiders is rich in detail and color; a destroyed Earth, a century after the Apocalypse. Though the art-style is not very original, it is very fitting to the game and story within.

Game Play

Darksiders felt like a throwback to old NES games where the game play would constantly evolve, wherein each chapter feels totally different from the one before. After a couple hours of hack-and-slash action the game slows down with some great environmental puzzles that become increasingly more complex and thought provoking throughout the game. Each new item that War picks up can be used as a weapon and a tool for puzzle solving.

You will meet a variety of demons and angels throughout the game as you solve the mystery of what caused the early Apocalypse and who was behind it. A few of these characters will help war… for a price. The great demon Samael will open new paths for the hearts of the demon rulers of the post-Apocalyptic Earth. Vulgrim will sell items and weapon upgrades for the souls from foes you encounter

Vulgrim’s upgrades increase your power and add to the variety of special attacks you have, to help you smash mindless human corpses, rip apart demons and tear the wing off of angels of war.

In addition to purchasable upgrades, War’s primary weapons become more powerful with use. I found that by using his sword most of the time I felt almost like a god by the end of the game. War will also find a variety of cool items with the most useless one being the first one War acquires, a horn that can push back hordes of enemies, well at least the weaker ones.

To Buy or Not to Buy:

Darksiders will keep you on your toes and the ending will blow you away. From hack-and-slash battles to some of the best environmental puzzles this side of Portal or the Water Dungeon from The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time, this game will not disappoint. Sure the story may be a bit thin, but great presentation and constantly evolving game play make up for it. This game is a must buy for any real gamer.

The Big Podcast: Episode 4

Join us as we flash all the way back to November of 2009, for the second lost (and then found) 4th episode of The Big Podcast. This one is just under 50 minutes, and totally falls apart at the end (as you can see from the topic list below.) Also, I make a fool of myself by saying that Steven Spielberg is somehow associated with Howard the Duck. Right click the title to download if you like.

Topics include:

Superman & Batman: Public Enemies
Final Destination 3D
Land of the Lost
The Proposal
Strays
Max Payne movie
The Spirit
Frank Miller
Holy Terror Batman
Fallout 3 & Expansions
Oblivion
Left 4 Dead with Teletubbies
Zombie Apocalypse XBLA
Fred Meyer internet
Wonder Woman animated movie
Gotham Nights (or something)
Hate Beak
Those Crazy TV Shows on the Max Payne Game
Howard the Duck
Uncharted 2
House of the Dead IV
Wet
Zombieland
All About Steve
Jon & Kate Plus Eight
Risen
Gothic 1, 2 & 3
Xbox overheating phobia
Rainbow Six Vegas
Beyond the Dunwich Horror
Les Misérables
David Lynch and his mass suckitude
Mass Effect

I’ll start things off by introducing you to the Theta Pi girls in ascending order based on bra size, because we all know that’s why you’re here.

#6 - ‘Chugs’ played by Margo Harshman

Role in the movie:

The slut of the group.

Why do we care:

See ‘Role in the movie’. Also she has a couple lines that are legitimately not-totally-hackneyed.

#5 - ‘Jessica’ played by Leah Pipes

Role in the movie:

The ultra bitch

Why do we care?:

We don’t really, because this character is such an awful person, that no death scene could be good enough… unless maybe they broke her legs, and then put a cage full of bees on her head before burning her alive.

#4 - ‘Ellie’ played by Rumer Willis

Role in the movie:

The “smart” chick, who is obviously not hot, because she wears glasses sometimes.

Why do we care?:

Because she’s the daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, which means she could probably kick your ass. Also she turns into female John McClane at the end of the movie. See picture——–>

#3 - ‘Claire’ played by Jamie Chung

Role in the movie:

The “ethnic” chick that is included to provide some depth to the Theta Pi girls. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work.

Why do we care?:

I guess mostly just because she’s hot. I don’t actually remember anything she said.

#2 - ‘Megan’ played by Audrina Patridge

Role in the movie:

She’s the girl who gets killed in the very beginning. You’ve seen the trailer, you know what I’m talking about.

Why do we care?:

She’s kind of the point of the whole movie.

#1 - ‘Cassidy’ played by Briana Evigan

Role in the movie:

The heroin / Wearer of the Shortest Shorts.

Why do we care?:

She is literally the only likeable character in the movie, and not just because she’s number one on this list, although that certainly doesn’t hurt. Also, you’ve got to give her props, because in a movie which is at least partially about girls wearing tiny shorts, she is the clear winner.

OK! Surely you know what this movie is about, because either you saw the trailer, which played on the front of every movie that came out last year, or because you’ve seen any of the I Know What You Did Last Summer movies. Just in case neither of those is true (PLEASE tell me how you accomplished that!) here’s the basic idea:

Megan’s boyfriend Garrett (who is Chugs’ brother, and incidentally cries more than all the girls put together) is totally cheating on her, so Jessica comes up with the plan of giving Garrett some GHB to help him score, even though he’s supposedly dating her… it’s a little hazy here, just go with it. Garrett evidently takes little to no convincing, and gives Megan the whole bottle. The girls then gather around in the room next door where they can view a secret camera they had installed earlier, (or maybe it was always there?) to watch the hilarity ensue - and yes, Chugs is there watching her brother get it on with her basically-dead sorority sister. So Megan starts vomiting and convulsing, and all the girls are freaking out, even though they were all in on it, and should probably know that it’s fake vomit, and she’s not dying. This part is also unclear.

Anyway, Garrett freaks out, and the girls pretend to freak out, and they all pile into Jessica’s SUV and start driving to the hospital, but oh-no! They’ve taken a wrong turn, and ended up in the middle of nowhere! Oh well, she’s dead anyway, so while they’re there, they might as well start calmly collecting rocks to dismember the body. But that wily Garrett takes it too far again, and plunges a tire-iron into Megan’s chest. Oh… Garrett. You’re such a go-getter! With almost no hesitation, the girls decide it’s best to just toss Megan’s body into an open well, so they can go on living their so-cool-like lives of debauchery and full-blown-idiocy.

Flash forward eight months to graduation, and all of the girls have completely moved on- but then… the killing begins. That dude from I know What you Did Last Summer shows up with a tire-iron instead of a meat hook and starts shoving it in the girl’s mouths one by one. I’m not kidding. The writers of this movie have got a serious oral fixation. Just when you think there isn’t a different way to shove a tire-iron into a girl’s mouth, you’re wrong! At one point in the film, a character we’ve never even SEEN before gets a tire-iron shoved in her mouth, and we care just about as much as we did when it happened to all the main characters.

There is a scene toward the end of the film when a hot-tub full of bubble bath (I can’t make this shit up!) is overflowing, and Claire has to wade through it looking for the killer, armed with nothing but a low-cut dress and a flare gun. This scene is legitimately spooky in a haunted house type of way. Blah Blah Blah, and then there’s a twist, and we’re all like… whoa.

Sorority Row has gotten a lot of pretty bad reviews - and with good reason - but I think it was exactly what it needed to be. Like a relic from a lost era of horror movies. Not the best era (late 70’s - 80’s), but maybe the early 90’s. Decent gore, hot girls. That’s not to say it’s a good movie, but if you were expecting anything else, well… shame on you I suppose.

What’s up, internet? Anybody remember the Double Dragon cartoon? No? Me neither. But it appears to be one of the worst cartoons ever made. Check it out.

Voice acting! I love how they’re always on the verge of being totally out of breath. Apparently the creators of this masterpiece took it upon themselves to create their own Wilhelm Scream with their patented “ooooohhnoooo!” Also, was that baby seriously born with a magic tattoo? Awesome! If you don’t want to watch the whole video, or you just want to relive some of your favorite (read: our favorite) moments from the show, we’ve included this handy soundboard (in the traditional soundboard appearance of looking just-awful), both embedded below, and available for download. Yes, it’s an .exe, no it’s not a virus. Or is it…? No, it isn’t.

Also be sure to check out Vertexguy, the badass, jamming to the actual Double Dragon theme song:

This looks pretty fun. It also looks like all of Michael Cera’s sidekicks got their own movie.

Well, Smokin’ Aces 2: Assassins’ Ball is here, but should it be? Don’t get me wrong, I loved the first one, and Joe Carnahan is one of my favorite film makers, but is this just another cheap attempt to make some quick money? Maybe, but it looks like they at least had fun doing it. I was disappointed to see that Carnahan had little to do with the second film, but in all honestly, I don’t think Smokin’ Aces needed a sequel (prequel), and if he passed on this to do (the just-over-the-top-enough-looking) A-Team, I can’t really complain.

I feel like director P.J. Pesce (apparently the go-to guy for cheap sequels [Lost Boys 2, Sniper 3, From Dusk Till Dawn 3, and some of the Tremors TV series]) tried too hard to emulated Carnahan. Some people can pull off highly stylized action, and some can’t. Given, this could be more a fault of the film’s editor, who used just WAY too much fast-motion.

SA2 has some really slick sets. If I did some more research I could probably find out how many of them were built for the movie, and how many they just found, but either way I guess it doesn’t really matter. Most of the movie took place in one location: a cool jazz club with a crazy-fortified bunker underneath it. But bad news - guess what? Somebody took out a hit on low level FBI Agent Weed (Tom Berenger - when did he get so old??) and is offering a huge payment, so not unlike the first movie, a group of insane assassins is looking to kill him. The FBI takes Weed to the secret underground bunker, which should prove impossible to find, and even harder to access, but somehow even the most inept of assassins (some of the Tremor family, making their return) find it within six or so hours.

Smokin’ Aces 2 has got some pretty decent action with both the gunfire, and gore effects being top-notch. There were a couple of head shots that blew me the F-away (Get it? Nudge, wink)! Seriously though, it seemed to be a good mix of digital and actual blood. The explosion effects on the other hand, were some of the worst I’ve ever seen. I don’t know who thought that was a good idea - we’re talking early-90’s-made-for-USA-movie-quality explosions. We’re talking-Mega-Shark-vs.-Giant-Octopus-would-be-proud-quality explosions.

Overall, the movie was fun, and decently acted, with a little sexiness, and a pretty good story. Some of the attempts to tie into the first movie with random, forced character mentions, and a couple returning assassin’s were a bit cheesy, but hey, the Tremor’s used exploding circus midgets for God’s sake, so complaining about cheesy tie-in’s seems a bit trite. Also, I get the feeling they couldn’t afford to hire Vinnie Jones for an entire movie, Show ▼

but the bits he was in were well performed, and he was definitely a Vinnie Jones character. All in all, worth watching, and better than most straight to DVD releases, but don’t expect anything on the level of the first one. Look for it next Tuesday (the 19th).

So, this looks even better than I could have imagined…