First off, I’ll make this review easy for the folks who don’t have the time or attention span to read it all the way through: I consider this movie a classic and it will be rated as such. From the grainy, light-saturation filtered opening credits with the “Regulators” shooting their anachronistic rifles at the cameramen, to the explosively epic final battle at the McSween’s residence where the breaking glass was so abundant you’d think they were holed up in greenhouse, Young Guns always fails to disappoint (ahem, that’s a double-negative, folks… the movie’s very good). Anyways, let’s get this review started off in an orderly, civilized manner… and hope to whatever higher power you pray to that it doesn’t end up that way.
"Over here, guys!"
Plot
The plot here is essentially a reworking of the adventures of Henry McCarty a.k.a. William H. Bonney a.k.a. Billy the Kid in Lincoln County, New Mexico. I’d say there were spoilers coming, but if you haven’t seen this movie yet it’s your own damn fault. We start off with the “Regulators” benefactor, Mr. John Tunstall (Terrence “Frequent English-Accented Villain” Stamp) meeting everyone’s favorite psychotic crack-shot Billy the Kid (Emilio “Wisely Avoided the Scary Movie Franchise” Estevez). After helping Billy escape whatever wacky trouble he’s managed to get himself into this time, Tunstall whisks him off to an awkward meeting with the rest of the “Regulators” and lots of macho posturing with knives, balled fists, chewing tobacco, and severely underdone pork. Here we get the chance to meet our other “Regulators” ‘Doc’ Scurlock (Keifer “I Miss The Lost Boys” Sutherland, Jose Chavez (Lou Diamond “Made It Into The Sequal With Keifer and Emilio” Phillips), Richard Brewer (Charlie “Has Been In Every Spoof Film Ever” Sheen), Steve Stephens (Dermot “I’m A Tongue Twister” Mulroney), and Charles Bowdre (Casey “Humorous Nickname” Siemaszko). They go off, doing “Regulator” type stuff and building a general sense of commeraderie, when one day Tunstall gets shot up during an ambush. Turns out the ambush was the plan of the evil L. G. Murphy (Jack “Utter Badass” Palance). The rest of the movie is pretty much about the “Regulators” going on a vigilante killing spree and kicking much bad guy butt until they and John Locke from Lost engage in a huge shootout that ends with most of the “Regulators” dead. Finally, the surviving members escape and Billy gets one final shot in, killing Murphy. Oh yeah, Tom Cruise shows up for about three seconds in there somewhere.
"Reap the whirlwind. Reap it!"
Score
Take an Old West style musical score and overlay electric guitar riffs and a synthesizer.
Conclusion
Murder, betrayal, vigilantism, hookers, and Emilio Estevez. What else could you possibly want in a movie? Hmm, this isn’t ending well. I’d better finish this off with a bang.
***Spoiler***
Damn you HD Technology!
This movie is a classic. Not since John Wayne has so much testosterone been slathered across the screen in a loving manner. Thank you for saying what we were all thinking.