In movie news!
Well, not a lot to report that isn’t disappointing and enraging; so in other words, there are a bunch more horrible remakes being made of movies that should never be remade (like Alien–there I said it. You may now cry). Wow, this is the best year ever for movies…
SIGH
On the plus side! It looks like Nicolas Cage is seeking to redeem himself. Remember when Nic Cage was cool? Raising Arizona, Vampire’s Kiss, The Rock, Matchstick Men, Adaptation. Back before he LOST HIS FUCKING MIND!? Well, he’s starring in a new movie called Bad Lieutenant, and it actually looks pretty awesome. The mullet is nowhere to be seen! Plus, Eva Mendez!
Pandorum
I can’t decide if this looks good or not. It looks fairly Dead Space-ish, which could be cool, and it’s got an awesome cast. The first third of the trailer looks amazing, then it kind of goes downhill. I could do with the whole thing being about a minute shorter. What do you think?
A Perfect Getaway
New Moon
Ok, Ok, to balance the Milla picture, here is a picture of Robert Pattinson without his shirt on.
You’re welcome ladies. Lainey Gossip has a whole slew of pictures from the set, so check it out, if you’re into that kind of thing.
G.I. Joe
Just when you thought this movie couldn’t look any cheesier, they released the international poster! Is that the baroness? And if so, what is wrong with her face!? Looks like she spent a little too much time out on the tennis court.
Karate!
JCVD is making a new action movie about Karate! It’s called Karate! It also has the coolest tagline!
“Can the master of the ancient arts conquer the caged fighters of Las Vegas?”
I wonder what this movie will be about? Check out the poster! KARATE!
Tomb Raider Reboot
That’s right! They are “rebooting” a franchise that is only seven years old! Apparently Angelina Jolie is too old and decrepit for Warner Brothers’ taste, so they are doing an “origins” story. Boy, if that isn’t a buzz-word these days. Does Lara Croft actually have an origin? If I remember right, the very first Tomb Raider game started with her climbing an icy mountain in booty shorts, and murdering a bunch of endangered species. I can tell you this, if they don’t cast Megan Fox, I don’t care!
The Ballad of Gay Tony
Rockstar announced this game today, which will be an addon for GTA IV, and had this to say about it:
The Ballad of Gay Tony injects Liberty City with an overdose of guns, glitz, and grime. As Luis Lopez, part-time hoodlum and full-time assistant to legendary nightclub impresario Tony Prince (aka “Gay Tony”), players will struggle with the competing loyalties of family and friends, and with the uncertainty about who is real and who is fake in a world in which everyone has a price.
Randomness!
This is the best thing I’ve seen in a while.
An Alien remake? isn’t that pretty much skull F****** Ridley Scott? ugh.. instead of raping the classics, can we please see some originality here!!!
Pandorum looks fun,
and ACK, why… WHY.. WHY!!!!??? was i just exposed to Robert Pattinsons pubes
Alex Trebec Drunk! Right, sorry Mark! Just trying to even the tables. Anyway, I’ve updated this post, check out Alex Trebec Drunk!
hahaha!!
“The Caged Fighters of Las Vegas”? That sounds like the title of an exploitation film. Kinda in the same vein as something titled “Naked Vampiresses from Sexulon 6″… only, you know, gay. That gives an entirely different spin to JCVD’s new film, don’t it? Exactly what “Ancient Arts” are you mastering over there, Mr. Damme?
“Naked Vampiresses from Sexulon 6″ = must be made. JVCD should star as the Van Helsing ripoff. He should also use a machete.
And the phrase “I’m the greatest Vampire Hunter in the world” has to be uttered at some point in time. There are at least two people who know what I’m alluding to. For everyone else… let’s just say that their heart isn’t the only place on a vampire you can use a wooden stake. Wikka chicka wow.
I’m starting to think they based Ron Burgundy off of a drunk Alex Trebek.