The Uninvited

The Uninvited is (what do you know?) based off of a Korean film called Janghwa, Hongryeon which apparently means both “Rose Flower, Red Lotus” and “A Tale of Two Sisters”, which would have been a way better title, me thinks.

Honestly I went into this movie not expecting a whole lot, but I like Emily Browning, and I wanted to see just how creepy Elizabeth Banks could be. I had seen the trailer, but I didn’t remember much about it, and I was counting on another pretty generic horror remake in this, the year of the remake.

Unfortunately for the most part, that is what I got. But The Uninvited does have a couple obvious redeeming qualities, such as being shot in beautiful British Columbia, and starring a bunch of beautiful girls. The “Guard brothers” (Charles & Thomas) clearly knew they had this going for them, and they tried to make up for a lot with sex appeal. Browning, as Anna dresses fairly conservatively throughout, but her sister Alex (played by Arielle Kebbel) rarely wears more than a bikini, and Elizabeth Banks first shows up in a dangerously low-cut top. But as we know, these things can only carry a movie so far.

What’s Cool?

The first part of this movie could easily be used as a travel video to lure people to B.C. The film never really points out where it is supposed to be taking place, or even when, and that lends it a bit of cool mystery like: “where is this place by the water, that looks cold but apparently isn’t too cold, and the strapping young lad from the grocery store bring supplies to your house by boat?” The answer of course, is nowhere. But that doesn’t stop you from wanting to go there.

The story (for the most part) is entertaining, and kept me guessing. As a thriller, this movie works really well, or would have worked really well, if they’d left out all the haunting bullshit. I like a good ghost story as much as the next guy, but this movie just didn’t need it. Toward the end, a lot of stuff starts happening that just doesn’t make any sense. Like, why don’t these people have phones? All around the performances are good, but be prepared to see a lot of this face —————————->

There were a few legitimate (albeit cheap) scares in the movie that made me jump, and some pretty good suspense sprinkled throughout. It was also pretty light on the yelling at the screen moments like “what are you doing? Why would you do that? What is wrong with these people!?”.

And yes, Elizabeth Banks is actually pretty creepy.

What’s not so cool?

The ghost story aspect of this movie was just cheesy. It wasn’t scary, and it felt completely tacked on. I haven’t seen the original, maybe it made more sense in that one, but I was frustrated the whole time, thinking about how much better The Uninvited would have been with a different director (sorry guys) and no stupid haunted nonsense. Every time any suspense would start building up, it was torn apart by a cheap loud-noise or flashy-face scare. Throughout the movie, Anna is haunted by visions of her dead mother, and creepy ginger-kids. Once all that stops, the movie starts getting interesting.

With the way things are going in Hollywood lately, they’ll probably be remaking The Uninvited sometime later on this year, so maybe they’ll use a couple of my ideas. If so, here is a list:

• No Hauntings.
• Get a good thriller director, like Craven.
• Use the exact same cast (bold move for a remake, I know!).
• Film in the same locations.
• If you absolutely must include the cheesy haunting sub-plot, the least you can do is slap a wig on Bruce Campbell and have him play the ghost mother.

I am available for consultation, should such a remake arise.

But seriously, this was a half-way decent movie that could have been a whole lot better. It’s always disappointing when things like this happen.

The bottom line is, if you pick it up for a dollar out of one of the Red Box machines like I did, you can’t really go wrong. It’s good for an evening’s worth of entertainment, but don’t expect to be jumping off of your couch in fear, or having your mind blown by an amazing plot.

And if somehow you’re not tired of the whole haunted by creepy children and blood running out of keyholes kind of thing, you’ll really like it.