Most people wield their microwave only to reheat the occasional Chinese food or burrito, thoughtless of the awesome power they behold. There are some who suspect the power, but only to fear it; you’ve met this type who shun the advantages of microwaves or cell phones, muttering something vague about radiation. And then, there are the heroic few, those with the knowledge and daring to make plain the wizardry of these appliances, individuals eager to accept their full command. I invite those of this third type to read on…
But before we get to it, a warning. If you’re a child, if you’re accident prone, if you’re drunk, do not do this. Find a capable adult to lead the way. And don’t blame me for anything that happens. You’ve been warned.
If you’ve made it this far, congratulations! Here’s what you’ll need:
1 microwave
1 microwave safe plate
1 grape
Now don’t be disappointed, this isn’t some crude assault that will leave a mess; we aren’t going to blow anything up. What we are going to do is excite the sugars in the grape into a small fireball of plasma.
You’ll also need one other thing:
1 knife
Here’s the procedure. Cut your grape in half the long way, leaving the halves still attached by a little hinge of skin. Place this split grape on your plate with the wet open parts up. Place this plate inside your microwave.
Now let me drop some science. The two grape halves are forming a dipole antenna, a bit like a little rabbit ears TV antenna picking up microwaves. The microwaves cause tiny grape juice electrolyte ions to circulate between the grape halves, an electric current, eventually burning out the skin bridge (in about five seconds). With the circuit unable to continue over the charred bridge, it takes to the air as a plasma flame.
So go ahead try it. Set the microwave for at least five seconds. You could set it for more like ten seconds to see more of the effect, but after the grape dries up your microwave could begin hurting itself. It’ll probably be alright though.
Go ahead and press start. Sweetness right? Now you know: grapes are even more awesome than they taste.