Having read Victor Gischler’s Vampire a Go-Go, I thought I new what to expect from his Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse. I was mistaken. Or rather Go-Go Girls exceeded my every expectation. It was fun, witty, ballsy, crude, intense and entertaining.
Set nine years after the end of the world as we know it, Mortimer - whom the story revolves around - comes out of hiding and decides to make contact with what’s left of the outside world. His first experiences with people, after his nine years hermitage, are violent and frightening. Taken captive by a man that he refers to as the Beast and his child sex slave, Mortimer is robbed, beaten, humiliated and tortured. When suddenly he is rescued by a cowboy, a man with six-shooters, the ten gallon hat and everything. Buffalo Bill, as he calls himself, agrees to help Mortimer make it to his old home town so he can look for his estranged wife. Once there Bill convinces Mortimer to visit the local Joey Armageddon’s Sassy A-Go-Go where the beer is cold and the women are hot, which ends up being a life altering experience for Mortimer. It turns out, that in this new post-apocalyptic world Joey Armageddon’s are the closest thing to civilization. It’s not just a titty bar, but a jumping off point for all kinds of commerce and industry, as well as a stabilizing influence and a rallying point for defense and militia. Mortimer trades away some of his supplies which he had brought down the mountain with him - mainly booze - and finds himself suddenly a very wealthy man. He is given a platinum membership for Joey Armageddon’s which is valid at all franchise locations, a tool which will open many doors for Mortimer and lead to unexpected dangers.
Bill and Mortimer set out together to track down Mortimer’s wife, who it appears was sold as a Go-Go girl out further east. In the process they come across all sorts of troubles, from Red-Stripes - highly organized and ruthless thugs - to con men, hillbillies and cannibals. They get into and out of much trouble and many tight situations, all the while Mortimer is not only struggling to survive, but also to come to terms with this violent and strange new world. And just when it seems that they have reached their goal and Mortimer may be re-united with his ex-wife - who he’s not sure that he wants to see anymore - they are thrown into a greater tumult and given a new mission with a fun new companion, Sheila.
This story is crazy action packed. It was intense and funny, and filled with all kind of surprises. The imagery is straight out of a movie; which, although I don’t usually enjoy in a book, in this case makes it even more exciting and fun. For example, after liberating the bad guy’s harem Mortimer is surprised and pleased by what they do next:
She climbed behind the wheel and started the truck, backed it off the curb. Lisa came in from the street and jumped in the back.
The redhead - Brandi - hopped in the back too.
Brandi had found a pair of combat boots among the dead, stood tall and strong and straight in her green panties and bra, the butt of her AK-47 assault rifle resting against a cocked hip. The wind tugged at her red hair. A long streak of somebody else’s blood down one leg. Her head was up, eyes bright. She looked like she owned the world.
There she goes, Mortimer thought. The icon for a new age.
I really enjoyed Go-Go Girls of the Apocolypse. It was just so much fun to read and has given me a new appreciation for Gischler. The things which I most enjoyed about this book were the surprises. Since it was so movie-like in it’s plot and imagery I often found myself thinking that I knew what was going to come next, but each time I was completely surprised. I eventually started anticipating these new surprises; each time I found myself speculating about what was going to be said or what was going to happen I became even more excited because I new that it was going to be awesome and unpredictable and completely unlike anything I would guess.
In the highly competitive world of online reviewing, filled with intrigue and sexiness (don’t question it, just trust me on this), it is important to remain fresh, exciting, and relevant. Since I am neither fresh, exciting, nor relevant, but more on the funky, staid, and obscure side of things, I present to you a review of an old movie. Well, not classically old. New old. One of the many thrillers to fall through the asscrack of the early 2000s.
